SAT 习作修改之开头段（三）
话题五：Is identity something people are born with or given, or is it something people create for themselves?
学生习作：
In my opinion, identity is just something people create for themselves.
People all born the same, their identities, just like their names, are just what they are given.
For better illustration, I will take my father as the instance.
分析：有语法的问题，更重要的也是逻辑的问题。
该同学的原意是表达人生来一样（值得商榷的），但是后来变得不一样的，所以个性一定就是后天创造的。但可惜的是表达出的句子意思没有到位，有点人写作说一点留一点对方想的意味，这是很恐怖的。
修改：
Admittedly, family background plays a crucial role when one starts out his life.
But it is what one experiences later in his life that finally shapes his character.
To be more specific, failures render you more determined.
Next I will take the example of Lance Armstrong to prove my point.
话题六：Should new ideas be questioned?（2009年11月考题）
同学文章：
Although new ideas originate from creation and self-discovery, which should be encouraged, there are still needs for us to question them. We often have no existing experience related to new ideas for them being unprecedented; the new ideas are by no means a hundred percent correct. To be more specific, it is worthwhile for us to question these ideas so as to ensure their accuracy.
In 1804, the Theory of Atom, a new idea introduced by Joan Dalton, a British chemist and physicist, is such an example.
分析：整体很好，就是说理较为啰唆。
修改：
New ideas, never happening before, may be wrong to some extent. That is the reason why we are supposed to challenge them to ensure their correctness for the better development of science.
话题七：Do people achieve more success by cooperation or by competition?
I consider that collaboration is more beneficial than 1work own. Those people 2work together have their different strong points.
Thus, they can accomplish a common target by cooperation.
On the other hand, if everybody 3 are in a competition they may fight like 4Kilkenny cats.
分析：
1. working by oneself/on one’s own
2.一个句子怎么能有两个谓语动词
3.主谓不一致
4.笔者知识有限一下子就被这个词组阻断了思维，后来查证之后发现表示打架不顾死活。
不过还是建议各位考试时尽量别用太过生僻的说法，写作是为了让对方理解，不是要去challenge 对方。
修改：
Those people working together have their own strong points that others may draw on or learn from. By collecting the wisdom of every member, the whole team is more likely to accomplish a target.
On the other hand, competition may likely to exhaust a person when he, confronted with certain obstacles, has nobody to turn to.